"Those" Parents are you and me!!!

You know the ones, the parents who are riding their kids all
game long. Openly critiquing their children's team mates, cursing undertheir breath, pacing the sidelines muttering uncontrollably.

"ThoseParents" are you and me!

As I sat through a basketball game recently, my friend and
fellow parent was as vocal as I have ever heard her. She was distraught over her 6' tall, 7th graders play. She was embarrassing herself and all around her in the stands with her comments. After storming off home in the third period, I felt sorry for her and thought, am I ever that bad? Parents often go to the next level after hearing a comment by another parent. Basketball parents share the same grandstands, often sitting next to each other. Baseball/softball parents are on opposite baselines, yet within ear shot. Soccer parents are 70 yards away from each other,
(unless playing in a stadium). Negative comments made at all venues detract from the game.

Soccer is unique in the seating arrangement. 90% of conversation
is amongst your own team's parents. You might hear the occasional loud few across the way but overall, most talk is amongst ourselves. My P1 & P2 daughters are decent athletes. They are the kids who make every starting team they have every tried out for. This success can also be a curse. When your child is playing all game, any mistake is an open invitation to be critiqued by a fellow parent. I know you have heard it: "If Jane was in there, she would have stopped that goal"; or "Glen would
have never missed that ball." These comments are heartfelt emotions that come out vocally. The problem is everyone hears them, your kids, their teammates, the parents and coaches. I will never forget my oldest looking at me with "dagger eyes" after I yelled some stupid comment. I don't remember what I said five years ago, but those eyes are burned in my memory for life! Now the son or daughter just looks over and says

"Mom would you SHUT UP!"

I HAVE CHANGED! It started with distraction, Tootsie Pops and
sunflower seeds distracted my tongue for the first season. When I
realized I could spit and yell at the same time I knew it was time for other action. I became the positive cheerleader for our sideline. Many parents had accomplished this years ago but I was to loud to notice. Cheering in a positive manner is encouraged. It is even okay to support your opposition as she makes a great move along the sideline next to you. Our parents caught on to this and continue to learn and exercise positive support. The Parents who still need intervention are offered seeds, suckers or Paxil :). If their distraction is repetitive it is the coaches job to address them. This does work, you might never see them again or they will be standing down by the 18 yard line away from "all of us wimps". Give it a try! Stay positive!

Some closing thoughts. Just as many teams lose every day as win.
VERY FEW of our children will receive athletic scholarship $$$$. If the money we spent on sports was applied to academic tutoring, they would all get full academic rides to Universities. This is a game, it is supposed to be fun for the players and families. Once you break through these walls, the time spent on muddy fields during the weekends becomes enjoyable again. Remember the most important question you can ask when you get into the car after the game: "Wanna get some ice cream?"

Ken Gross
Everett
2 premier daughters ESA & Snohomish United!

WPS would like to thank Ken for the article