CP etiquette when 'guesting'

[SaraBellum]

My DD has guested a few times and we've also had guest players with her team. A team isn't just the players- it's the parents too so any advice for guest parents?

How about I start:

Don't:

 Don't pick apart the team your guesting with. Yes it is great your kid is here with us, but please when sitting on the sidelines and you constantly belittle the players on the field- don't be surprised when the person next to you turns out to be that player's father and you get a fat lip. I think this goes for everyone not just guests.

Don't coach from the sidelines and say what are they doing?? Because you do not know what they are doing- they have plays, the team has things they work on and certain players have certain jobs and when they do it- it's not your job to question it.

Do:

Introduce yourself- no one knows who you are or why you are sitting on their sideline. Ask who their player is and about the team- we all know CP's love to talk about their team.  Don't talk about how much better your players 'real' team is.

Keep in mind that one day your DK may want to be on this team and you don't want to parents remembering you because you made a bad impression on them.

[letemplay]

Great message!  I can attest to the fact that you never know where your kid might be playing one day....strange things happen and your DD may end up happy somewhere you NEVER expected in your wildest dreams 

Another rule of thumb to guesting parents....bring treats! 

[soccerpride]

How about to the teams who have invited a guest player:

Do welcome the parent(s) who took the time to bring their player out. Because chances both the player and the players parent(s) are really happy to have been asked to guest play. Do not treat them as intruders. (of course this goes both ways)

[Tesoro]

Good ideas, all
Our DK has guested (requested) and your suggestions are spot on.

[English1]

How about having parents pay for tourney?  How do people feel about that?  Just interested...should it be free as CP is giving up weekend and incurring some expenses to help out or should CP pay their share?

[Victory]

DD has guest played a number of times over the years and we have never paid one time.  If we were asked to pay I would guess they do not really need her that bad.  One team even covered our hotel.  I know of a player who had all expenses covered including airfare.  Back in my coaching days I had times we needed guests and could of never asked for the parents ro pay.  

[soccerpride]

Great point. My player has guest played before, and not once have we been asked to pay. I believe that when you sign up for a team, you make a commitment. The tournaments are typically included in your fees, and if your player is not able to attend, and the team has to find a replacement for you, you should cover this cost. This could be a controversial statement, but I am just stating what believe to be correct. In the end, we are typically looking at $30-$35 per player (for a 12-14 player roster), for tournament fees, although not a whole lot, it still comes down to the need, and making sure the team parents understand this at the beginning of every season.

In situations where the player is looking for guest playing opportunities, I am not sure how I feel about this. Never really have given this any thought, other than if a team is picking up a guest, there typically is a need, and I would again circle back to my original statement.

To chime in on Victory’s comment of airfare, well how do you handle that? I do know, as Victory, of a team who has covered the airfare of a guest player. This expense is obviously much higher, and in the end should be a team decision.

How about having parents pay for tourney?  How do people feel about that?  Just interested...should it be free as CP is giving up weekend and incurring some expenses to help out or should CP pay their share?

[TheWarpedDog]

DD has guest played a number of times over the years and we have never paid one time.  If we were asked to pay I would guess they do not really need her that bad.  One team even covered our hotel.  I know of a player who had all expenses covered including airfare.  Back in my coaching days I had times we needed guests and could of never asked for the parents ro pay.  

Agree.  Maybe the only alter-option would be if the parent(s)/player seek out teams to play for and 'guest' on a roster that isn't missy players at the time??

[SaraBellum]

I think part of the guesting thing is how the coach handles it. First the guest players and parents are giving up their weekend and 'helping you out'. On the one hand the coach has to play a guest player otherwise why did they ask them for help? I've been asked on a Thurs to have my player guest with teams. Sometimes the coaches will even transport them to the games because they need help. The other thing is when mine guests we really don't care much about playing time. It's an attitude of well she's a guest so it's no big deal and that she's there as a sub to be in and out when players are hurt or tired.  We don't expect her to start or anything but sometimes I know the coaches feel a bit grateful to have the player.  I don't think guests should play more than players on the team- that is where problems arise and feelings get hurt.  The point of my post was about parents though- not playing time and all that.  I think since the feeling is that the guest is doing the team a favor that asking for them to pay is tacky. By the time you need a guest you've already registered and paid.  I know my player gets really appreciates a thank you card or a note from the team.

I think as a parent of a guest you need to realize that you are not with your team. These parents don't know that you're a really nice person. All they know is that you are sitting on the sidelines making a jackass of yourself.  I mean do you want the parents thinking I hope we never have that player again because of the parents. Here's a hint if you start the game with people sitting near you and at some point you notice they have all mysteriously moved away you might want to rethink your behavior.

[English1]

Okay, I have another question.  How should parents treat gp and parents.  In my opinion, parents and players should be very gracious and friendly...this doesn't always happen.

[mpisacreeker]

How about having parents pay for tourney?  How do people feel about that?  Just interested...should it be free as CP is giving up weekend and incurring some expenses to help out or should CP pay their share?

good question. for our team, we build our annual budget based on the number of players on the roster, which includes the planned tournaments. we communicate up front that while missing a tournament or two for family vacations, summer camp (i.e. obligations that have already been pre-planned) is okay-the fees for tournaments is a team cost. therefore if their player will be absent, we will secure a guest player and they will not be required to pay any fees as those have already been covered by the "team" budget. we haven't had to have a guest player for an overnight travel game so i'm not sure how we would figure in the cost of travel (shoot, knock on wood!)

[mpisacreeker]

Okay, I have another question.  How should parents treat gp and parents.  In my opinion, parents and players should be very gracious and friendly...this doesn't always happen.

i sure hope this isn't how our team/parents behave. when we have a guest player (whether from another club/rec or a team within our own club) we make sure we send a mail to all parents (team and gp) welcoming & thanking the guest players, parents as well as thanking the coaches. the email specifically asks the team parents to seek out the gp and welcome them to the sidelines. we state where each guest player is coming from and their jersey numbers (if we know it) and we include the gp on all communications related to the game/tourney. including any "social" events such as team lunch or team movie. lastly, the coach makes sure that the players know there are guest players and has the team introduce themselves and pair up wth a guest player for warm-ups etc.-now this may be what is communicated but i get that the behavior on the sidelines may be different, i just hope not.